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sapphireoniblue44

just someone useless.
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It happened yesterday, my life turning into literal hell. I had a long and miserable day at school. The walk home with my secret crush and childhood friend, Elijah, was nice. I walked into my Christian mother’s house, smiling after saying bye to Eli. 



I went into the kitchen for a light snack, but instead, I found a very angry and upset mother. I looked at her, then the table. She had found three of my porn magazines and my blade. My throat tightened, and my chest felt heavy. I wanted to cry and run away, but I was frozen. 



“Jaden, sit down.” her voice was angry and shaky. She held her head in her hands. I felt bad for my mom, or was she even my mom after how she reacted to this? Anyway, I sat down. I was too nervous to do anything else.



My palms were sweaty as she spoke. “Jaden, tell me why I found these in your closet.” she motions towards the repulsive items. That was it, I teared up. “Tell me why I found these in your closet!” she screams, slamming her hands on the wooden table. The tears fall as I sit there in horror. “Get the hell out of my house, right now.” She demanded. 



I obeyed, rushing to my room and getting my clothes and a few valued items. I ran down the stairs, jumping over the last four. I raced out of the house, never slowing down once I was out. I could only go one place now. I knew who I had to go to.



As I got a mile away I slowed down, catching my breath slightly. I walked up to their stairs and knocked frantically on the door. I waited a bit, got nervous and knocked louder. I was interrupted halfway through by the little fourteen-year-old I knew so well. 



“Jaden?” Marie looked up at me, confused. “I didn’t know you were coming over tonight?” I shook my head, “No” my voice was shaky and strained. “Can I talk to Kate, please” I held my bag’s strap tighter. Marie looks at me a bit longer, then steps out of the way, “Ma!” she had yelled. 



Kate stepped out of the kitchen doorway, wiped her wet hands on her jeans. She looked at me for a moment, and then rushes over, hugs me, and smiled “Jade! Eli didn’t tell me you were coming!” I smiled softly, “Because he didn’t know. Can I just,” I sucked in a breath “Stay the night, please?” I begged.

Kate looked at me weird, and I got scared. “You don’t need to ask.” Kate smiles, going back to the kitchen to continue cooking. I sighed, relieve washing over me. Marie touched my arm “Are you okay?” she asked. I nodded and gave a fake smile. “Okay, well, I have to go help make dinner. We’re having mashed potatoes, barbecue ribs, and carrots.” she grinned, proud of herself, and I smiled back. 





When I had gone up to see Eli he had been worried sick, asking why I was there suddenly. He had seen through my lie, so I told him I was thrown out. He asked me why I was thrown out, and I said I didn’t want to talk about it. He dropped it there. 



Dinner was nice, no one asked why I was there. I felt like I was intruding. I finished early and washed my plate. “You can go sleep up with Eli, hun.” Kate smiled. So I went up, got changed into my sleepwear, and fell asleep. 



That’s where I am now, pretending to be asleep while I can feel Eli’s naked back against mine. I’m probably blushing. God, how am I still alive right now? I need to move quickly before I pop a morning woody.  



I slowly move from the bed, glancing over at him to make sure he didn’t wake up. God, this is such a good way to become stressed. As my feet hit the cold floor I shiver, I forgot how cold this house gets in the morning. I wrap my arms around myself and stand up, leaving the warm bed. I slowly creep my way towards the door, and when I open it I am surprised by Marie. 



Marie’s room was right where I remembered, across the hall from Eli’s. The short teenager looks over at me, rubbing her eyes. “Oh, hey Jade.” her voice is groggy. I smile “Hey.” I echo. She thinks for a moment and does a come here motion with her hand. She holds her door open for me, and I slowly walk in.



She went in and sat on one of her bean bags. Her room had changed a lot. She had five more space posters stuck to her wall, a couple hundred drawings from her brother and mother were tapped to the wall above her desk—which she now had— she had lights strung from the ceiling. It was very… Teenagery. 



I sit in the other beanbag. “Why’d you show up so suddenly?” she asks me, her voice soft and inviting. I give a nervous smile “No reason, I just wanted to spend the night,” I lie. “Bullshit. Why’d you come?” she sure was a smart cookie. “I was thrown out, okay?!” I blurted out. She looks shocked, her pupils visibly shrinking as she takes a quick gasp. Marie covers her mouth with her hands, a small “Oh, Jaden…” coming from the hands. I avoid her gaze, afraid I might cry if I look into her brown eyes.  



I hear shuffling, and then she’s hugging me with her small body. She hugs me tighter, and I hold my breath. I bite my lip, I wanted to cry, my eyes were burning. So I let them, I could already Marie sniffling as she let her tears wet my shirt. I hug back tightly, letting my salty tears drop down to her bedhead of hair. 



The next few minutes are a blur to me, probably because of the tears pouring from my tear ducts. Now Marie and I were just holding one another, sniffling as we slowly came back to our senses. Marie pulls back, holding my hands. “Jaden… Why did she throw you out?” her brown eyes behind her glasses make me look away for a while. “Promise you won’t tell anyone?” I look at her from the corner of my eye. She nods while saying “I promise on my grave.” I can hear the sincerity in her voice. I take a deep breath, squeezing her hands. 



“My mom found out that I cut,” Marie went to speak, but I cut her off, “And that I’m gay…” my voice was barely above a whisper, afraid of what she’d do. Marie squeezes my hand tighter. “Jaden,” she starts, “Why do you cut yourself?” she asks me softly. I can’t look at her anymore as I answer, “I hate myself for being gay…” I study one of her posters. “Jaden, I love you for you. You don’t need to change for anyone. You’re unique and amazing just the way you are.” she was serious. I tear up again, my body feeling cold. 



Marie pulls me into her arms for another hug, and I am beyond happy to hug her back. After a minute or so, we pull back. Her small hands wipe my tears, and I smile softly, “Thank you, Marie. I’m really glad I have someone to talk to about this stuff.” Marie nods, and grins, a small giggle pushing past her gapped front teeth. “Of course! What kind of sister would I be if I didn’t let you talk to me?” the words hit me like a brick. I’ve never had a sister.



But she stands up and pulls me with her. She drags me downstairs to where I heard Kate’s 80’s music playing on her radio. I see her dancing over the stove. I laugh softly. 



Family? I could get used to it. This family, Eli, Marie, Kate, James. This is my real family, they always have been. I want to spend the rest of my life with them. I will spend the rest of my life with them. 

Marie holds my hand reassuringly, we’ve always been close. James, her father, would say how we’d grow up and get married. Hilarious, huh? If only he knew. 



Kate turns around and smiles at us, “Boy, you two are awfully close this morning!” she teases us. I feel my lips being tugged upwards, “Yeah, I guess so.” I have a feeling Marie is too scared to let me go now knowing what she knows. 



Marie leads me to the table and forces me to sit next to her. Well, I shouldn’t really say forces me, I went willingly. But anyway, soon I had a stack of steaming pancakes placed in front of me along with a big bottle of maple syrup from our neighbor state, Maine.



I lick my lips and reach for them. Wait, James is Christian. Shit, I guess I need to wait and pray for someone who ruined my fucking life. Great. Marie rubs my arm, “He’ll be out of the bathroom soon.” she speaks softly, I have to strain to hear her over Kate yelling up to Eli to get out of bed. 

I nod at Marie and wait patiently. I still can’t believe that I was kicked out of my own home. All because I like men. So what?! I didn’t ask to be gay! She’s disgusting, I’m glad I got out of that house. 

I feel a sharp pain in my leg and look up, shocked out of my thoughts. Eli had kicked me, and now we were praying, oh. I take James’s and Marie’s hand and bow my head. I say a small ‘Amen’ at the end along with everyone else. What's sad is that Marie and Kate don’t even believe in god, they're spirituals. You know, someone that believes in everything? 

I honestly don't have much of an appetite, so I only eat half of a pancake. I get up and I hear James talking, I wonder who? "Jaden!" James yells and I jump. Wait, he was talking to me? "Yes?" I stutter and turn quickly. 

"Why'd you show up last night?" I look at the wall, I should tell them. "I was thrown out of my house... I hope you don't mind?" I spoke quietly, silently hoping that I would be able to stay. "Why were you thrown out?" shit, I knew that question would come. "It's nothing, I... It's nothing. Can I just... Stay for a while? I promise I'll pay rent!" I beg. How pathetic.

James was thinking, "You don't need to pay us, kiddo. We'd do anything to help." I sigh in relief, smiling. "Thank you so much!" I feel myself smile. Kate smiles at me, "Just don't do anything stupid," she smirks at me, teasing. 

I chuckle "Can't make any promises." I set my plate on the drying rack, Marie jumps up, a little too excited. "We should watch a movie downstairs!" she announces. Downstairs in the basement, I have so many good memories down there. They have the biggest round screen T.V I've ever seen and a VCR. They have two giant bookshelves with every movie ever made. They even have a five-person couch. Yeah, it was a little worn, but it was perfect. 

I instantly run down the stairs, "I call picking the first movie!" I hear Eli and Marie shout in anger, and pounding is following my footsteps. I quickly turn on the T.V and VCR. Yeah, it was 2017. No, it wasn't lame still having outdated equipment. If anything it made you cooler. 

I quickly went to pick out a movie. Wait, they fucking had the new Superwoman movie?! Oh hell yes. I popped the CD into the slot and took my place on the couch. By the time Eli and Marie were downstairs I had the best blanket and spot on the couch. I stuck my tongue out at them. 

Eli smirks "I guess you won't get any popcorn!" he goes to the corner, I look, a giant popcorn machine was there. "What?! When'd you get that?" I exclaim. "We got it last year, dork." Marie smiles, sitting next to me. She slips under the blanket with me. Eli laughs "No funny business with my sister, got that Wilde?" he had a joking tone to his voice. "Yeah yeah, really funny." I roll my eyes. I can see why he'd think that. But I didn't have my eyes on Marie. I had a crush on him. 

Marie shushes us as the movie starts, and I get comfortable. Eli comes over with bags of popcorn for us. He also slides under the blanket, his long legs laid across mine. I was glad the basement was dark, or else they'd see my blush. 

Soon both of the siblings slept on me. Marie was leaning against my side under my arm, and Eli was laying literally on top of me. I liked it, feeling their warmth. I smiled to myself and watched the movie in silence. 

I could get used to this.

(You can find this story on Quotev, Wattpad, Archiveofourown, and Booksie. Links> www.quotev.com/story/10312979/… || www.wattpad.com/498618623-we-h… || archiveofourown.org/works/1280… || www.booksie.com/529557-we-have…)
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We Have Your Back- Chapter 1 by sapphireoniblue44, journal